Alright, this is gonna be a long talk I guess, first of all, sorry for my English, I'm not a native speaker & Thank you for reading this.
I AM CONFUSED, FRUSTRATED AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINED!
I would never tell this to my friend or relatives, it's the internet so I can share it without shame.
I am a person with a low-self esteem, really low, extremely low.
Why ?! - I guess it's because I haven't achieved anything BIG in life, no success, no goals. + Biggest one - overweight.
A bit about me : I'm 19 yo student, on my 2nd year at college. I've always been a smart guy, high grades etc etc... Now I'm in a good university. I'm telling you all this just because you won't be able think of me as a "dumb person" after reading all I'm gonna write. Well, I found Internet Marketing a year ago and since than I've been testing waters, I have a decent knowledge but made only $1000 in the past 12 months, laziness + low self esteem.
I don't even know where to begin.
Last years I had no idea what success was, I was worrying about how to get better PC, video games and stuff like that. After that my dad died and I had to take care of my family, that's where the harsh life begins, I'm not complaining, I got over many things and will in the future, in other words I'm seeking a successful life, right now all I want is to lose fat and make money for living.
First of all, I gotta say (if you've not been obese, you can't get this fully) that being overweight ruins one's whole life, I'm sure the main reason my confidence is equal to zero is being fat. I feel like a failure, it feels horrible when people are looking at you with eyes saying "damn, look at him, he's fat"... after all those things you start thinking that you're a failure, you're starting to have negative core beliefs, everything I do now feels wrong, I'm working - ITS WRONG! I'm talking - ITS WRONG! Relationships - ITS WRONG, even when I move it feels wrong. I would cry this crap out of me if I was a girl :you can laugh here: ... It's a lot of effort to be able to have faith in yourself after this.
You know the main reason of my low self-esteem. It affects everything, from relationships to work, I can't focus. 1 year ago I didn't pay any attention to this but now it bothers me this much. I feel like a COMPLETE failure, I need help.
Another problem (everything combined) : Today, I decided to re-think all things, like business, how I should do it etc etc ... I said to myself, I must think positive (a hundred times) and it turned in something like a behavior, I mean now my another half believes if I don't think positive 24/7 I'm gonna fail at everything. I'm sure it's not clear to you at all. I feel like positive thinking is a must do thing, of course it is but if I think "normally" I feel it's wrong, my mind wants to be motivated and excited all the time, that's not possible.
I wrote down things like :
What am I facing ?! - Low self-esteem
Why ?! - Because I'm fat, have no money ....
Can I solve it ?! - Yes!
How ?! - Be positive, don't do things that lower your self-esteem.
Every time a thought comes to my mind I start to think "is this right? should I do this?".... I wanted to boost my confidence with acting correctly all the time, no mistake, but when I do something I don't like even a bit I think "geez, I'm hopeless". Horrible feeling.
To put it clear, I can't sum up everything and make a decision, not in this situation only, every time, everywhere. It's because of my "excellent" self-esteem, every time I try to do something, I doubt myself and feel like a failure.
I hope you got it.
Biggest decision I want to make : I know that it is true but can't assure my other self. I said I'm seeking success, I know I can achieve it by taking action but my other half can't believe, it feel like I am divided in two parts. First one thinks that I need only action to become successful, another thinks that I need to combine positive thinking & action, unless I'll be a loser.
Someone tell me, I can get joy, happiness and normal self-confidence by achieving my goals ? I mean if I lose weight and make money, it'll definitely boost my confidence, I'm afraid that I'm gonna feel/act like a loser after that too, but I realize it's not true, hell of a mind game.
Tell me : Can actions like losing wight, making money (that will be the most enjoyable things in my life) bring me self-confidence?
THANKS!
To give any advice, send to www.shareuradvice.blogspot.com
I AM CONFUSED, FRUSTRATED AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINED!
I would never tell this to my friend or relatives, it's the internet so I can share it without shame.
I am a person with a low-self esteem, really low, extremely low.
Why ?! - I guess it's because I haven't achieved anything BIG in life, no success, no goals. + Biggest one - overweight.
A bit about me : I'm 19 yo student, on my 2nd year at college. I've always been a smart guy, high grades etc etc... Now I'm in a good university. I'm telling you all this just because you won't be able think of me as a "dumb person" after reading all I'm gonna write. Well, I found Internet Marketing a year ago and since than I've been testing waters, I have a decent knowledge but made only $1000 in the past 12 months, laziness + low self esteem.
I don't even know where to begin.
Last years I had no idea what success was, I was worrying about how to get better PC, video games and stuff like that. After that my dad died and I had to take care of my family, that's where the harsh life begins, I'm not complaining, I got over many things and will in the future, in other words I'm seeking a successful life, right now all I want is to lose fat and make money for living.
First of all, I gotta say (if you've not been obese, you can't get this fully) that being overweight ruins one's whole life, I'm sure the main reason my confidence is equal to zero is being fat. I feel like a failure, it feels horrible when people are looking at you with eyes saying "damn, look at him, he's fat"... after all those things you start thinking that you're a failure, you're starting to have negative core beliefs, everything I do now feels wrong, I'm working - ITS WRONG! I'm talking - ITS WRONG! Relationships - ITS WRONG, even when I move it feels wrong. I would cry this crap out of me if I was a girl :you can laugh here: ... It's a lot of effort to be able to have faith in yourself after this.
You know the main reason of my low self-esteem. It affects everything, from relationships to work, I can't focus. 1 year ago I didn't pay any attention to this but now it bothers me this much. I feel like a COMPLETE failure, I need help.
Another problem (everything combined) : Today, I decided to re-think all things, like business, how I should do it etc etc ... I said to myself, I must think positive (a hundred times) and it turned in something like a behavior, I mean now my another half believes if I don't think positive 24/7 I'm gonna fail at everything. I'm sure it's not clear to you at all. I feel like positive thinking is a must do thing, of course it is but if I think "normally" I feel it's wrong, my mind wants to be motivated and excited all the time, that's not possible.
I wrote down things like :
What am I facing ?! - Low self-esteem
Why ?! - Because I'm fat, have no money ....
Can I solve it ?! - Yes!
How ?! - Be positive, don't do things that lower your self-esteem.
Every time a thought comes to my mind I start to think "is this right? should I do this?".... I wanted to boost my confidence with acting correctly all the time, no mistake, but when I do something I don't like even a bit I think "geez, I'm hopeless". Horrible feeling.
To put it clear, I can't sum up everything and make a decision, not in this situation only, every time, everywhere. It's because of my "excellent" self-esteem, every time I try to do something, I doubt myself and feel like a failure.
I hope you got it.
Biggest decision I want to make : I know that it is true but can't assure my other self. I said I'm seeking success, I know I can achieve it by taking action but my other half can't believe, it feel like I am divided in two parts. First one thinks that I need only action to become successful, another thinks that I need to combine positive thinking & action, unless I'll be a loser.
Someone tell me, I can get joy, happiness and normal self-confidence by achieving my goals ? I mean if I lose weight and make money, it'll definitely boost my confidence, I'm afraid that I'm gonna feel/act like a loser after that too, but I realize it's not true, hell of a mind game.
Tell me : Can actions like losing wight, making money (that will be the most enjoyable things in my life) bring me self-confidence?
THANKS!
To give any advice, send to www.shareuradvice.blogspot.com
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